Bitch Moves

Miss Cherry has found that there are certain types of women who love subtle destruction in the game of love. To these women, it’s like the board game…War. Goal…total “world” domination. Since Miss Cherry is currently on a dating hiatus, it affords her the luxury of true observation of the mating habits of the species. I mean, if you aren’t all fuzzy brained and actively involved in the day by day love of another, it gives you a load of time to watch the comings and goings of people in love, lust, desperation and boredom.

“What in the Hell is this? Are you okay?”

“What do you mean? Sure, I’m okay.”

“No, you most certainly are not. You look like the Unabomber or a Duck Dynasty reject.”

“Well, I just finished work.”

“No, it’s more than that. Does your girlfriend tell you that this looks good?”

“She likes me this way.”

“No, she doesn’t. She is filling you with a load of bullshit. This is what we women call…a bitch move. She doesn’t want other women to look at you, so she is making you look like a Mad Mountain Man Sack of Shit. You are too good looking to let yourself go. Get a haircut, and shave that crap off of your face – or at least take it to a #1 blade – just, clean it up.”

Bitch Move #1 – Make your man unattractive to the opposite sex by manipulating him into looking his worst. Fatten him up…make him look like he just escaped from a psycho ward. Hide his looks and personality. Why? Because you are insecure that he will find another woman attractive- and if she finds him attractive – then, your man will leave you. Bitch should be shot

Friend Move against Bitch Move #1 – Remind your friend that he should always bring his best to the table of life. Yell at him until he gets it all back together. Follow up on the personal renovation…and give sincere encouragement and praise. Why?

A woman wants her man to bring his best, and be his best. We don’t seek to hide his light, or diminish it to the world. Miss Cherry wants her man to shine. A woman, who is so insecure that she would diminish her man, is not a woman worth having. When you see a friend being manipulated by a bitch move…bitch block it. Bitch be gone.

Miss Cherry went with her friends to watch a band play. One of Miss Cherry’s friends had a very nice relationship going with the lead guitarist. There you go. As musicians have a “following”, this means that there were groups of women– and when you get a group of single, middle-aged women in bedazzled jeans, spandex and animal prints together in one room –couple it with Cranberry, Vodka and Soda -  bitch moves are bound to happen.

As the lead guitarist watched my beautiful friend sway to the music, one of his “followers” moved herself around the table and directly into his line of vision – basically, blocking my friend. She then sat there and made comments, and smirked to her friends. When my friend went out on the dance floor, this “lady” brought out her “posse” who then surrounded my friend and sought to drive her off the floor by exclusion and snickering.

Bitch Move #2 – Draw all attention to yourself, block out all other women and control your man. Guys, this isn’t a compliment. This isn’t an indicator of how much this woman loves you. What this means is this…you are going to be smothered, controlled and gelded. After all, your big boy pants haven’t arrived, and you need this woman to tell you how to act, at what you can look and then…bottom line, what you want. You, unfortunately, don’t get a choice.

Friend Move against Bitch Move #2 – My friend didn’t need a friend move. She had it under control. She naturally exuded class and elegance, rising above the group of washed up, redneck Cougars. Matter of fact, she acted like she didn’t even know it was happening. Kudos to my friend. And to the other “ladies”…Bitches be gone.

Now…this one is advanced. It requires that you understand that women understand how a man’s brain is hard wired for physical attraction. What turns a man on?  Big news flash…we know that men are extremely visual. We know that men are extremely sexual. We know that those two extremes fire off and connect to make a man sometimes do things that get him in a lot of trouble later. A lot of pleasure, coupled with big, big trouble…if with the wrong woman.

There are women who understand that the man that they are pursuing has an “object of his affection”…and it isn’t her…or at least, not on the familiar, tried and true affection level.  Don’t get me wrong…this woman is going to get all of the attention she will ever want later when she takes this man to bed…but in the meantime…between she and the bedroom stands her “object of affection’s” – “object of affection.”   Point is…the woman is threatened by the obvious friendship between her man and this other person.  Jealousy ain’t pretty. Chunking fits ain’t pretty. So…

Bitch Move #3 – Make a mans head explode with a visual comparison between you and his object of affection. The woman pulling the Bitch Move believes herself to be more attractive or appealing than the OOA, and this is a classic attempt to force the man to visually choose. Spark a visual comparison, and chase it with sex. Kind of like a Jaeger Bomb to a man’s brain. This is accomplished by dancing sexual with the woman you are attempting to dethrone. When you couple the Jaeger Bomb with the visual of two women together…he’s toast.

Friend Move against Bitch Move #3 – Don’t play. This isn’t a competition…especially, if you refuse to compete. Don’t let another woman manipulate you to manipulate the man they obviously don’t quite have yet. If you catch yourself in the middle of this bitch move, the best way to pull yourself out…is to pull her “object of affection” out on the dance floor…and deposit him right in front of her. Then, exit stage left. Women don’t let other women use them for bitch moves. Bitch be gone.

There are so many bitch moves out there to discuss. So rather than discuss them all, let’s just take it to the bottom line.  A bitch move is an action which a woman knowingly completes to manipulate a man.  Manipulate his emotions; senses…manipulate his love, affection. Use the people in his life…friends, family, children…to get what they want. A bitch move is when someone is lying about their intent, and perpetuating that lie in support of an agenda. Bitch moves are subterfuge. They take the nature of the other person, and use it as a weapon against them, effectively wounding the other person right in the heart of trust.

You would think that women would learn that bitch moves don’t last. Eventually, sooner rather than later, a manipulated man will rise up to move on. Unfortunately, the women that follow the Bitch Mover will take the brunt force of what she has done.

“Women are conniving bitches.”

“Women can’t be trusted.”

“Women manipulate men through sex.”

“All women are… (fill in the blank)…and lie to men.”

These aren’t the words of one man. These are the words of many, many men. So many, that frankly…as a woman…it embarrasses me that women act this way. These statements are the direct result of a person being the recipient of bitch moves. To the recipient, this is now their truth. For a woman who doesn't utilize bitch moves, we know that these women hurt us all. The statements above aren't true about all to all...but they are true for some about some.

For women, like Miss Cherry, who don’t believe bitch moves show integrity in the art of love, friendship, life…there is hope. Hope, only if you don’t lose your spark by taking all of this personally. It isn’t about you. It’s about what a person has been through and how it made them feel. Understanding and boundaries. And by all means, don’t let someone project the actions and damage of another onto you. Transference sucks. Know how you are hard wired. Then, stand your ground. Truly loving someone always wins out over bitch move damage. Love prevails. Relationships take on many sizes, shapes and colors...let it be.

Good friends don’t let good friends get manipulated. A good woman doesn’t wield bitch moves. Period. A good man understands that all actions are individual, and not part of the collective. Eyes wide open, mouth shut. Bitch be gone.

What’s the cost?  Manipulation is psychological abuse. It will cost years to eradicate. One of the most important things to remember, for a recipient of bitch moves is this…just as all women aren’t bitches and manipulative…all men aren’t assholes. Matter of fact, the actual bitch movers and assholes out there are few and far between. They just seem to stand out – because their actions and manipulations are so emotionally violent. But really, they are just not that important in the big scheme of things. After all, we live in a big, wonderful world. For every person who acts badly, there are healthy hundreds just waiting to give and receive some sincere love, affection, loyalty and devotion.

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, boy. Good love is on the way.

I told y’all that Miss Cherry was going to be taking on some of the hard issues. Bitch moves, and manipulation…doozies. Glad it’s been covered, as it’s been on my mind for years and years, going way, way back.  There is another story in there...and its another doozy. Though, more appropriate for “Stiletto in the Eye”...so y'all will just have to wait. J

 Aren’t you glad Miss Cherry has a laptop, internet connection, and showers you with her words?

Oh, no, no…by all means...you’re so very welcome.

Love,

Miss Cherry

Love and The Zombie Apocalypse

Miss Cherry was giving her imaginary “acceptance” speech to a group of imaginary women and men, for the honor of being… simply…all she was supposed to be and more. What prompted this: the excitement of watching several friends receive awards for taking their dreams all of the way, believing in themselves, and fearless living.

“I want to thank you all for believing in me, and supporting my dreams. As I look around, I stand in awe of the intelligence, talent, drive and accomplishment that fills this room. To be “honored” by you humbles me. Matter of fact, when the Zombie Apocalypse hits, I can honestly say…I would consider it an honor to share a tree shelter, or cave with you…some kind of defendable perimeter…as I believe that each and every one of you would be quite stimulating for an extended period of time. With that said…raise your hand if you have strong survival and medical skills, watch Duck Dynasty, and hold an arsenal of firearms that would prompt an ATF alert. If you raised your hand…please pass your email forward, as we have some further qualifications to discuss.  Now…thank you again for honoring me…I am a fortunate woman.  Y’all have a nice evening.”

The imaginary applause was deafening. Miss Cherry felt like Sally Fields.  It was an imaginary defining moment, so much so, that it filled her mind with the burning question…”Who, in her life, was Zombie Apocalypse worthy?”

On the subject of friends…a good friend is a good friend until the end of time. Cherry would throw herself in front of a Zombie hoard rather than let anyone bite or eat her good friends. Now, those friends who are fair weather, wishy washy, disloyal or selfish…they just might be on their own.  That decision would have to be an instinctual, in the moment judgment call. I mean, what’s the point of losing an arm and risking infection for someone whom you would save but they would push you out in the hoard saying…”Here take her.  As friends go, she’s a spare. Look at her…I bet she’s yummy, yummy slathered in Stubbs BBQ sauce.”

On the subject of family…Cherry would love and protect her family…the whole lot of them. They were blood; they were all hers from birth. Matter of fact, they would make the cave fun. And, since most of them were raised just exactly like her…they would be a great Zombie A team.  I mean…no chance of being voted off the island by family. A lot of time and love invested here.

On the subject of love…Miss Cherry had to think hard on that one. In her mind, she pictured herself as Elaine Bennis on Seinfield…saying…”Are you Zombie A worthy?” Elaine had understood the importance of not squandering her preferred birth control sponge after discontinuation…Cherry understood the importance of who loves you. In her imaginary scenario…she was sitting on a turquoise tufted couch, looking at the line of men who were coming to apply for love, care, and attention during the Zombie A. It was a bunch of good looking riff raff. Just as she looked up from her clipboard, there it was…a Zombie in line, edging up for the bite.

“Hey you! Yah, you there with the open sores and bad complexion. Don’t think I don’t know you’re a Zombie. Don’t you realize that being a Zombie is the fastest growing communicable disease amongst my age group? Bye!” And, Cherry’s foot pushes the button that trips the imaginary trap door and he falls straight into a pit of girl Zombies. Right where he should be.

“Hey you! Yah, you! Didn’t I divorce you?” Hell, no. “Down you go…” Imaginary smile.

“Hey you! Yah…well…you’re kinda cute.  Can you build a fire, hunt and secure the perimeter? Yes…then, let’s continue. Can you shoot Zombies? Yes. Okay.  How about hand to hand combat with a Zombie, would you win? Good. Now – very important…bottom line…do you think that sex is important and amazing…and does “it” work? (Silence, and wait for the answer) I mean, if “it’s” a problem, we might want to address that BEFORE we are locked up for months on end. Just a little preplanning as I don’t want to experience sexual frustration during a time of heightened sensibilities. As all of that goes, if it’s my time, I’d definitely want to go out with a bang.  Know what I mean? Yes, it works? Great!  You just sit here on the couch because, as it stands, you just might make it to Zombie Apocalypse love. Please step to the side for further interview.  Next!”

I know that this sounds like a lot of trouble to go through for something that is only happening on the SyFy, History and Discovery Channels…might seem a little like over kill. All of this imaginary thinking could get Miss Cherry in loads of trouble. But...

Can you imagine what it would be like entering the Zombie Apocalypse with someone “yellow”…someone who would scream and leave you behind…yelling…”Sweetie, I sure did love you. You were a good woman, and a damn fine cook.  Sorry that I took all the ammo but I have to survive to head up the New World Order. It’s my chance to get ahead. My advice…either lay there and take it…or…RUN, Cherry, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

So, as these imaginary thoughts played in Miss Cherry’s head all she could think was this…”Why wait for the inevitable Zombie A, why not now?”

Miss Cherry knew that a love that was Zombie Apocalypse worthy was a love worth having. I mean…if you wouldn’t want to survive a Zombie Apocalypse with someone, then why would you even be with them? Honestly.