Texas girls like to have options and they sure as Hell don’t
anyone telling them what those options might be. In this case, Cherry liked
having the option of showing a little bit of cleavage every now and again, as she
considered it her God given right. It
went with her thick mane of big, Texas hair.
Boobies and Big Hair…a true matching set. It wasn’t for show or to gain attention from
the world…it was just for her. She liked what she had going on in that
department. Cherry was all jiggly, and
bouncy. Her friends showed cleavage
too. It had become …”not just for our
20’s anymore”…and the middle aged set was flying their “sets” loud and
proud. After all, for those not
surgically engineered, as in the case of our natural Miss Cherry, there was only a limited
amount of time before they started their slow, casual descent down. And just like Cherry’s friend Lola had said
at the end of her doggy’s long life…”We had a good run and now it’s over.” Cherry wanted her “good run” with her
Boobies. She wanted to have fun with it
all before they fell into natural oblivion…certainly before she entered that
stage in her life where no one wanted to see them, not even an occasional
dirty, old man.
Now…Cherry’s bodacious Ta Ta’s were a natural phenomenon, bestowed
upon her at the tender age of 12, causing quite a stir in the 6th
grade open classroom at her upper middle class, conservative Elementary School. Big Boobies were frowned upon in the 1970’s
Bible belt, and when they started growing…there was nothing to be done but grit
your teeth and wait. It’s the genetic
luck of the draw. You look at your Momma
and your Grandma and say…”So that’s what I have to look forward too.” In Cherry’s case…her Mom was little and her Grandma
was very, very large. At slumber parties
all of the girls would check out the progressive growth of their friends…who
was wearing a training bra…who had graduated to a true cup size. Cherry had no
idea what was coming in the Boobie department when they started to grow, and
after having her training bra stuck in the freezer a couple of times at
Elementary slumber parties, she decided that when the time came…she’d learn to
keep her cup size a mystery…and never take it off for examination…or to be
placed next to the Popsicles.
The thing about big Boobies are that even though you
do nothing to get them, they change your life at an early age…and they expand
your horizons if you implant them later. Cherry started growing hers over the free and
easy summer before 5th grade and it took her all the way through to
the until the summer before 7th. So much
so that she was permanently expelled from “The Itty Bitty Titty Committee” when
her cheerleading jumps took on a whole new dimension. Everything was bouncing. Fluffy hair and boobies flying
everywhere. And it was never more
evident that her life and social status had changed until that infamous day
that her parents got the call. Cherry’s
Boobies had become notorious.
“Mr. and Mrs. Cherry’s Parents…this is Principle So and So. I need to talk to you about your daughter
Cherry.”
Mr. and Mrs. Cherry’s Parents were very strict when it came
to their daughter. She was expected to
be a little lady at all times by her Momma, and able to compete with the boys
athletically by her Daddy. Just as it
was important to have manners, and walk with a book on top of her head…she was
expected to stand toe-to-toe with the boys, and punch them in the nose if
needed. Her parents were strict as to
her grades and behavior, both which had to be all “A’s”. Cherry was a good little girl. Then only thing she had been guilty of at
school…so far…was talking too much in class.
Her school record was littered with notes in her “folder” as to
inability to shut her mouth when the teacher was talking. Cherry was the little social butterfly of her
Elementary. A position she held dear, in
spite of sitting outside in the hall, or having to write sentences at night
with her homework.
Cherry’s parents expected to hear something about “talking
uncontrollably,” or punching a boy in the nose…so what followed came as a shock…which
sent her parents into orbit. “What has
happened to our daughter?”
“Don’t be alarmed.
Cherry is alright. She is just
going to have to come home and change.
We are having a problem with her shorts and the halter top that she wore
to school today. It’s causing a problem
for the teachers and they have asked me to give you a call to discuss it.”
Now…Cherry’s Daddy had already raised the conservative, male
parental alarm on his young daughter’s changing physique. The summer had been Hell for little Miss
Cherry. When she would head to the
public pool, he would make her wear the ugliest bikini that they could find,
and top it with a dark T-shirt. This
situation, being unbearable to Cherry, was remedied by her cool Momma, who was
always passively aggressively sympathetic to her pre-teen growing Boobie plight. She’d stuff her pool bag and head out the
door. It was her Momma who would slip
her the red-orange, full cup bikini with gold metallic rings holding it all together
to change into once she made it past her Daddy’s bikini check, rode her bike tothe
Park, and snuck into the pool locker room.
With that 70’s mod bikini on, and a bribe of Hot Tamales and Dr. Pepper
for her older brother, Cherry maintained the cool factor throughout the hot
Texas summer…sans t-shirt...sans ugly, conservative bikini.
Mr. Principle So and So loved Cherry. She was a good kid who was respectful to her
teachers, and a leader in her grade. She
was an “Eraser Relay” champ. He had hated making this call but he had a vocal
group of teachers ringing his ears.
“Your daughter has developed significantly over the summer,
and the changes are causing quite a stir with the boys in the 5th grade. So much so that the teachers have
asked me to ask you to not let her wear a halter top to school again. And, possibly not shorts. It’s all very distracting. Could I suggest a nice skirt or dress?”
So…Cherry started wearing dresses and skirts to school. She hated it.
She was allowed to change into shorts for recess and Phys Ed, but
outside of that she was pants free for a good year. The cool thing about Cherry’s Mom was that
she not only designed clothes for Cherry, she sewed them. This meant Cherry always dressed in beautiful
clothes that fit her perfectly. But
dressing in fitted clothes still caused a problem at her Bible Memory Camp in
Louisiana the following summer.
It seemed that every year, her two weeks of Bible Memory
Camp coincided with the boys from Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch, a ranch for troubled
boys stuck way out in the middle of the Texas panhandle. Fundamental Baptist doctrine, Bible memory
work, and girl -starved hormonal boys...not a good combo for our recently developed Cherry. Fluffy hair and big Boobies were just too
much. After getting in trouble, fined,
punished, and sat in the corner for nothing other than having big boobies who
were causing a problem for the teachers and preachers…her parents got the call.
“Mr. and Mrs. Cherry’s Parents…this is Pastor/Camp Director BMA. I need to talk to you about your daughter
Cherry.”
“Is our daughter alright?
What has happened to our daughter?”
“Well…it seems that your daughter is enticing the boys with
her figure, and this is causing quite a stir. Frankly…it has become quite a problem with
the boys from Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch.
We caught one of them trying to sneak across the bridge to sing to your
daughter through her window. And…it has
disrupted Chapel and scripture study daily since she got here. We might need you to come get her.”
“You mean you want us to drive from North Central Texas to
the middle of Louisiana to come get our daughter because you can’t control
these boys? Her clothes met the dress
code standards, and we happen to know that she is dressed conservatively. We will pick her up on the last day of
camp. Now...let us speak to our
daughter.”
“Yes, Daddy”
“Cherry…do not make eye contact with any boy. Do not speak to them or smile at them. We are coming to get you on the last day of
camp, and we want you packed and ready to go.
You be good and sweet to your teachers and preachers...stop talking
during scripture study and meditation hour… and don’t let them make you feel
bad. God made you. How are you doing on money?”
"Well - I've used up my money paying fines."
"Why?"
"Talking. I ran out of money two days ago. Now, I'm picking up pinecones."
"Then, stop talking...work on your scriptures...and by all means, try not to draw any attention to yourself."
"Yes Sir."
And with the words...God made you ringing in her head…she had a
spring in her step and a song in her heart...as she continued to talk...and pick up thousands of pinecones. She didn't care.
Cherry was no longer ashamed of her big Boobies, and decided that the
smart thing to do…just to show the Fundamentalist Naysayers a thing or two…was
to wear her cut offs, and halter top for the trip home from camp. Cherry sat with her brother and sister on the
porch with her suitcase packed, after camp had officially closed, ready for her
parents to come pick her up…and the Naysayers couldn’t do one damn thing about it…except
give her looks like…”You are of the Devil with those Boobies.” God had made her just this way and she
wasn’t going to let anyone make her feel bad about it ever again. The Devil might try to get her on the talking problem...but Boobies…God made her with them…off limits.
Cherry thought there was a delicate balance when it came to
cleavage and showing your Boobies. Too
much and you are frowned upon by some and gawked at by others. Not enough and you look stuffy. There was a just right category, which
allowed you to not hide your womanly charms, yet not put them out there for the
whole world to see. Mystery and allure
must be maintained. After years of
experimentation with cleavage tolerance, Cherry had determined that just a
little bit more than a beautifully elegant hint of cleavage, coupled with
mystery and allure would be her modis operandi in this space.
And the Hair…would always stay big, fluffy and bouncy. No flat iron here. It just went against everything that Cherry
believed. It was a constant struggle for
her friends and hairdresser. They would
tell Cherry…”let’s straighten your Hair…you’re going to love it”…they would
straighten it…and Cherry would cringe. Flat
Hair freaked her out. Flat, straight
Hair just seemed a crime…when God had given Cherry a head full, made it
slightly wavy, and thick. Cherry
remembered the time her Mom had sent her to get her Hair trimmed down the
street. She was in the 3rd
grade, and her Hair was so long that she could more than sit on it. Cherry told the Lady Stylist…”My Mom wants
you to trim one inch off of the ends of my Hair, and give me bangs”…and Cherry
walked out with her long Hair cut off at the nape of her neck, sticking
straight off her head like a wavy, thick triangle…with bangs. She cried the whole way home. It was the late 60’s and this new hairdo was
totally destroying the white, ruffled pirate shirt, crushed velvet shorter than
short hot pants and vest, and white Go-Go boots look she had adopted in the 2nd
grade, and carried through to the 3rd. She was no longer 60’s cool when she looked
in the mirror. Cherry was beyond upset
as her Mother took her back down the street to retrieve it, and they
found out was sold for a good sum of cash.
Matter of fact, Cherry really didn’t have one friend or
acquaintance that didn’t have Texas Big Hair.
That is…unless they had been getting the Brazilian Blow-Out. And…every time Cherry sat down for a cut and
color…she was approached for one. “You
know…your Hair would be sleek, and shiny…and you wouldn’t have to do anything
to straighten your Hair…we could remove some of the volume if you would only
get a Brazilian Blow Out.” Cherry’s
reaction…Get thee behind me, Satan. A
phrase she learned at Bible Memory Camp in Louisiana.
Now about the Bling…Cherry believes that there is a direct
correlation between Boobies, Big Hair and Bling…in the fine State of
Texas. Matter of fact, she discovered
that it’s actually an international thing.
Texas women are appreciated all over the world, as she and her friend
Sunny discovered on their trip to Dublin, Ireland. Kind of like a cross between being a princess
and a rock star with an accent. Texas
women are legendary. Cherry’s domestic
and international travel trip of the day:
ROCK THAT ACCENT! If it takes
wine to bring it back out…then get on it.
Of course, if you can take down a couple of shots of tequila like a
pro…no flinching, and turn your shot glass down after shooting…like you are
saying…”If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch”…this one move
will take the Texas mystique to the wall, putting you right up there on a
pedestal.
Back to Bling…Cherry’s ex used to give her Bling. Then, she divorced him…and he stopped. Imagine that.
She even had to sell her Bling to pay her bills when he cut her off from
all of their accounts…selling her Bling for about 10% of what it was
worth. Her friends were horrified. “Well, he had me over a barrel. It was either that or borrow money from my
parents…which I wasn’t going to do. It
was either that or no food, electric, water, gas, or living for two months
while we put the temporary orders in place. I had to take care of my kiddos. There are five people living under my
roof. It’s only Bling. Bling is replaceable.”
If you take a Texas woman just on her looks, you are stuck
in the Bermuda triangle of the Texas Trifecta. It never ends; because around
every corner you turn…there will be another one walking past you. Eye Candy
meets Hell on Earth, no sense of satisfaction. It’s a shallow existence. The Boobies, Big Hair, and Bling are all on
the surface. It’s all just pretty packaging.
Cherry knew that she could walk into a room, and that there would always
be someone prettier, someone smarter…someone who had more of everything in life. And, that there are men out there that only
care about the packaging…not the woman inside.
They would forever circle their boats, not ready to drop anchor, not
satisfied with the woman on their arm, and always looking to see if there was something better. So busy scanning the horizon, that they miss the beauty of the sunrise, sunset and everything in between.
It didn’t matter. Cherry really didn't care about those kinds of people. It
all came down to what Cherry thought about herself…about the things that were
given…and the things she had earned through hard work. Cherry knew that a blessing was just that…a
blessing. And, that when you take away
the Boobies…there was a Woman. And that
Big Hair…could be lost. The Bling could
be sold to keep your lights on, and feed your family. If you strip it all away…at
the center is a Woman. A woman’s intelligence,
moxy, heart and soul. Cherry learned a long time ago that it’s not the
packaging…it’s the contents.
So, as she went out there in the world…a single, middle aged
Texas Woman…she would stick to the way her parents raised her…to her core
ideals…to her intelligence, moxy, heart and soul…and let her greatest
accomplishments be what she gave to others, and what she gave to the world. She would walk right past the shallow and
false…and maintain a keen eye.
Of course, Cherry would still expose portions of her
Boobies…and her Hair would still have that 70’s quality plus a dose of Texas
sensibilities. Bling would come and
go. She would perpetuate the Texas
Trifecta out in the world…with one critical addition to the formula. Cherry would let people know that Texas Women
are expected by their families to use their brains for good and not evil. They are expected to shoot out in the world
to lead…govern…teach…contribute. They
are expected to be strong for their families…and the community around
them. A wild spirit is a strong spirit.
They are expected to get up off of their pretty asses and do something.
Exercise options.
So, what’s wrong with looking good as you do it? Cherry says…”You should use what God gave
you. Use it for good. Contribute and
make every moment count. Save the evil for when you really need it, make no
excuses and be strong enough to take the fall. Make your Momma and Daddy proud.
If you have Boobies, wear a bra. If you
don’t have Boobies, go get some…they are simply wonderful. Give everything and
everyone your “A” game. Lastly,
regarding Hair…go big…or go home.”
